A couple of weeks ago I looked at a ridiculous nonprofit job listing. I got a lot of reaction to the post, mostly from people in the sector who are so used to it they simply 🙄 and then move on.
Guess what? I came across another nonprofit job post from hell. This one is 1,070 words long. It’s a gem of a posting…and by “gem” I mean “freakin ridiculous.” I won’t bore you with the entire thing but I will point out some of the crazies.
For Starters
This particular nonprofit is “seeking a creative and energetic development professional to assist in the expansion of major donor revenue.” The position is Donor Relations Manager and that person “is responsible for identifying, cultivating, soliciting and stewarding donors who make major level gifts to support the mission.” This position reports to the Director of Major Gifts.
All sounds normal. The organization needs a major gifts officer. All good.
And that’s when it goes off the rails.
OH FFS!
Under “duties and essential job functions,” the section opens with this:
“Maintains a personal portfolio of current and prospective individual, corporate and/or foundation major donors, minimum of 125.”
HOLY HELL! This nonprofit expects their new hire to already have their own list of donors they can hit up from day one. Or basically they’re asking: How big is your list? That’s a question I thought only comes up in interviews. This NPO is STATING IT IN THE OPEN ON A PUBLIC JOB LISTING!!! That takes a LOT of chutzpa.
In case you don’t understand what they want, it continues: “Develops and executes cultivation plans for major donors including lapsed and prospective donors in portfolio.” Yup, if you’re hired, you’re expected to raise money from everyone in your personal portfolio.
And if that’s not enough….
Under “requirements” they add: “Demonstrated ability to perform essential job functions with the highest standards of personal integrity and professional standards relating to philanthropy. Ability to preserve confidentiality appropriately and steward resources with prudence and accountability.”
But when it comes to mining and hitting up people on your personal list, please throw integrity, standards, ethics and confidentiality out the window.
Le sigh.
For s@$ts and giggles they add: “Must have an existing professional network” in that part of the country. Do they want the fundraiser to tap into that network as well for donations? Hit up those people for names of potential funders?
Courtesy: http://www.chasingthefrog.com/item/freddy-krueger-nursery-rhyme-t-shirt/
9, 10 Never Sleep Again
If the donor section sounds like a nightmare, then the ending of the listing actually is:
“Must have valid and current driver’s license and reliable transportation; be able to travel for work overnight and on weekends. Must be able to work outside the normal business day with expanded hours including early mornings, nights and weekends.”
Looks like the job involves plenty of travel and no sleep! I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that there’s no overtime pay.
When nonprofits post this, do they understand they are essentially saying that employees can expect a 24/7 work schedule? And do they not understand what is wrong with that?!
But hey, the salary? “Commensurate on experience.” Which means…
- It’ll suck and/or
- It might depend on how “good” your list of 125 donors is.
ALL nonprofit job listings should include a salary figure. Period. At least if I’m gonna have to hand over my personal donor list, I should know what I’ll be taking home for such an “honor.” But nope. Commensurate on experience is code for: You’ll be underpaid no matter your experience and if you’re a woman, you’ll be paid less than a man. How sad.
And nonprofits wonder why people in the sector move jobs often. Gee, I wonder why…
P.S. Have you seen a nonprofit job listing from hell? Lemme know!
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